Truth
by Vanessa227
Summary: Alicia opens up to Zach about Will.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Everyone! Waiting for the next episode is killing me, so i wrote a short fic with more to come about how Alicia is feeling about Will's upcoming investigation. Please comment, this is only my second story so** **reviews are always appreciated. Thankyou!**

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><p>Alicia sat by Grace's window, staring out at the high rise apartments of Chicago. They seemed so big, overwhelming even. In that moment, she felt insignificant. Irrelevant.<p>

…Lonely.

Grace was at her Father's getting help with some math homework. Alicia found herself sitting there, her head against the wall, her arms cradling her legs pressed up tightly towards her chest.

Before she knew it, she was crying. Tears rolled down her cheek as she looked out the window and thought about him.

"Mum, are you okay" Zach said with concern as he stood by Grace's door.

Alicia showed a quick smile and wiped away a tear with her cardigan sleeve. "Yes, Honey. I'm fine."

"Mum, you're not. What's going on?" Zach slowly walked and sat on Grace's bed.

"Nothing honey, nothing for you to worry about."

"I know you just want to protect us, but were not little kids anymore." Zach said as Alicia shifted to face him. "…Is this about Will?"

She looked away. It was hard enough admitting this stuff to herself let alone her kids.

"I think he's in trouble," she spoke softly.

Concern, worry, fear. Zach could see it all over her face. She was in pain. Pain over Will.

"Trouble, as in…he could go to jail, trouble?" Alicia swallowed and nodded. "Can you help him?" It was strange, but Zach actually cared. He had only met Will once but he liked him. His failed attempt at being cool the first time they met was oddly funny. And plus, seeing his Mum like this was not something he could bear.

"I don't know." Alicia responded after much thought. "I wish I … it's complicated."

"No offence Mum, but do you ever stop saying that everything is 'complicated'." They both laughed as Alicia realised how often she uses that word. That excuse to avoid the truth.

"Mum?" Zach was preparing to ask another question.

"Yes, honey"

"Is it complicated because you're in love with him?"

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><p><strong>If you guys like it i'll try write more so let me know, Thankyou<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey Everyone so here is the next chapter. Let me know your thoughts!**

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><p>"Mom?" Zach prepares to ask another question.<p>

"Yes, honey."

"Is it complicated because you're in love with him?"

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><p>… Sometimes we wish our lives were different. Easier. That everything would just slow down. Our main focus only to breathe in and breathe out.<p>

Take one moment, and in that moment, only think about one thing.

What makes me happy?

_Who makes me happy. _

_Who makes me feel alive but safe at the same time. Who protects me, tries to shield me from pain. Who holds me, comforts me. _

_Who loves me. For everything I am, everything I'm not, and everything I wish to be. _

When you find that person, no matter how difficult it may seem, never let them go.

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><p>Alicia was stunned at her own reaction. As she tried to think of the right response to Zach's clearly knowing question, another tear fell. It was if she had put all her feelings in a little box a long time ago and swore to never open it.<p>

Now it was open, and everything was spilling out. They weren't distraught tears but revealing ones.

"Mom, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to upset you." Zach reached out to grab Alicia's hand. He hadn't seen her like this since the talk about her and Peter's separation.

In this moment, she was so vulnerable. It was actually nice, Zach thought. Not seeing her upset, but for her to show some emotion. Not bottle everything in and be so strong all the time.

No one can be that strong all the time. Not even Alicia.

"Mom?" Alicia's head jerked up. This time the sound didn't come from Zach. It came from the doorway.

Grace stood, school bag in hand, staring at Zach and Alicia.

She approached the two slowly, putting her bag on the floor.

"Honey your back," Alicia wiped under her eyes again and put on a smile. This time she made sure every tear disappeared. She was always so cautious around Grace.

"How was your Father's?" Alicia asked, trying to divert any looming conversation.

"Good…" Grace responded timidly.

Silence took hold of the room. Not an awkward silence, but a significant one. Grace came forward.

"I never thought I'd say this, but… "

"What, Grace?" Alicia was worried. Her face was now puffy, her eyes continuing to well up, but she was always worried for Grace.

Grace hesitated and finally spoke.

"It's okay for you to love him."

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><p>Alicia felt like she was in a bizarre reverie. Her kids approved of her loving another man that wasn't their Father.<p>

"How did…" Alicia spoke as Grace cut in.

"I was standing in the hall. I heard the whole thing."

Alicia looked worried.

"We want you to be happy, Mom." Zach said. "And if Will is what makes you happy then... it's okay."

Zach and Grace looked at their Mum staring down at the beige carpet trying to compose herself.

Alicia finally looked at her kids. They seemed more like adults than she was. She smiled and laughed while incessant tears continued to fall. "When did you guys become so much smarter than me?"

They all smiled simultaneously. Grace let out a soft giggle.

"I have to go, I'm meeting Neesa." Zach hugged Alicia. "I love you, Mom"

"I love you too." Zach gave an affirming grin and left as Grace sat next to her Mum.

Alicia grabbed Grace's hand. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…I'm sorry though. I know I haven't been very supportive. I mean, you can't help who you love, right?" Grace seemed more curious than upset, Alicia thought. It was nice.

Alicia smiled. "I think so."

_I know so_

"Mom, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"How do you know that Will is, like, the one?"

Alicia was shocked."You really want me to talk about this?" she asked.

"Mh-hmm."

Alicia thought about her and Will. What it's like to be with him, be held by him.

"I don't know if anyone really ever knows. I think that Will has been a part of me for a long time. When I'm with him I feel protected, supported. I forget about all my inhibitions and i feel free. I trust him... I love him"

_I love him._

This was the first time Alicia had admitted that to anyone.

Or to herself.

"Have you ever told him any of this?"

"I haven't exactly been the best at talking about feelings lately." Alicia regretted her answer, but knew it was true. She avoided every conversation with Will that delved into what they meant to each other. "You know he asked to meet you," Alicia said nudging Grace.

"Really?"

"Yeah...and I told him no…"

"Why? You're always worried about what I'll think or feel. I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy."

"You're not, honey."

"I'd like to meet him, if that is what you want."

"You are such a grownup," Alicia smiled and hugged Grace. Being open with her kids felt like a weight had been lifted.

Alicia's face soon saddened. "But, Will's going through a difficult time right now. I don't want to make things harder."

"I bet he wants to talk to you. He probably misses you."

"...I don't know"

Grace's tone was serious now."You need to talk to him, Mom."

She rested against Alicia as they leaned on the window together. Alicia stroked Grace's hair.

Alicia looked out at Chicago. "I know, honey. I know"

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading. I really wanted to focus on Grace's reaction and her relationship with her Mom, but as the story continues things will really start to focus on Alicia and Will if you guys want to here more. Let me know, thankyou!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey Everyone. So heres the next chapter! In true Good-Wife fashion it is a slow-burning story, but if you like it i will continue. Also, i must say a big thankyou to all the kind reviews and positive criticism ive received. Im new here and new to writing in general, so it is incredibly rewarding to hear your thoughts.** **Thankyou!**

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><p><em>Spare me your judgements and spare me your dreams,<em>

_Cos recently mine have been tearing my seams._

_I sit alone in this winter, a clarity which clouds my mind.  
><em>

_Corrupted by the simple sniff of riches blown,_

_I knew you have felt much more love than you've shown._

_I'm on my knees, and the water creeps to my chest. _

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><p>Will sat alone in his office.<p>

His elbows rested on his knees as he leaned forward, holding his head in his hands. He looked beaten.

Physically and mentally beaten.

Will, this intrepid, capable and intelligent lawyer was so far past exhausted it was now worrying to those around him.

One person especially.

The investigation was ruining him and it had only just begun.

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><p>Alicia could see it.<p>

One glance in the conference room the day earlier and she could feel every inch of pain enthralling his mind.

He stood up against the doorway, a common gesture on Will's behalf, but this time it was different. He was completely tuned out of the conversation he usually led.

His head rested back against the wall, his eyes engaged on only the fixed objects in front of him.

But it was _the look _in his eyes.

It was a mixture of doubt, fear and vulnerability hiding behind chocolate-dark pupils.

Seeing him like that….

Words cannot describe what Alicia felt. All she wanted to do was hold his hand and stroke his cheek. Tell him that they would somehow get through this.

But she couldn't. She ended it. She had rejected him.

A repugnant combination of regret and guilt built up in Alicia's stomach until she felt ill.

She couldn't help thinking that she was at fault. That in some way Peter was responsible for doing this to Will. But she had too little knowledge to assume anything.

Will had shared so little that it was impossible for her to act on her suspicions. Or help him.

_All she wanted to do was help him. _

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><p>It was 9:30pm.<p>

She had finished for the night much later than she hoped. The offices were usually empty at this time, especially on a Friday. Just one or two lawyers twiddling their fingers over a presiding case.

She had the house to herself tonight.

Peter had picked the kids up from school. They were staying with him until Sunday. Having her kids go back and forth had become somewhat of a double edged sword.

Having some time to herself at home started out as of a luxury. _Every mother needs a break._ And Zach and Grace need to spend time with their Father.

But now Alicia spent most of her time fixating on minor details of her life that kept her awake at night.

The kids had proven to be a positive distraction from the mess that seemed to follow her around.

_...And she didn't want to spend another night alone._

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><p>She got off the elevator to find the main floor in relative darkness. No-one in sight.<p>

She couldn't help thinking about that night three years ago, when she had got off this elevator to his floor despite every red light flashing at her to stop. Turn around. Go home.

But she didn't.

She hoped with every cell in her being that Will would still be there to continue the passionate, urgent kiss they had shared moments earlier.

That felt like so long ago now.

And so much had changed since.

She slowly walked down the hallway past reception.

Grace's words repeateded themselves in her head as she approached the glass door of Will's office.

_You need to talk to him, Mom._

As she had suspected, there he was. Head in hands, sitting in his leather-bound chair. His usual bottle of scotch and an empty glass sat on the table in front of him.

He was completely unaware that the offices were pitch-black except for his, that everyone else had gone home.

Alicia had been standing beside his open-door for a few moments now and he still hadn't taken notice.

She was so close to turning around. Backing away.

_Talk to him, Mom._

She took in a deep breath.

…"Will?"

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><p><strong>So here it is. I know there wasn't much dialogue in this one like the last 2 chapters, but i really wanted to focus on what was going on inside Alicia and Will's heads right now. Let me know your thoughts, thankyou!<strong>


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